The Dream in Reality
by Jaina Sanri
Summary: When SG-1 is late in a checkin, stargate command thinks the worst might've happend. set in season 8... 1-shot


"General O'Neill, sir." Jack O'Neill sat in his office sifting through papers. And more papers. Papers about budgets, complaint papers, grant proposal papers about things he didn't even understand half of, papers about faulty equipment. And his ultimate favorite, papers about screwed up missions. Of course, he himself used to write a lot of these, the number he had expected from other SG teams had grown significantly since taking command of the base.

"Yes, Lieutenant?"

"Sir, SG-1 was due back an hour ago. We haven't heard from them since their last scheduled checkin."

"And you just told me about this now?"

"Sir, it _is _SG-1 and it _was_ a scientific mission. I just figured Colonel Carter's experiment took longer than-"

"Lieutenant, does Colonel Carter seem like the kind of person who would forget a checkin?"

Lieutenant Galla was visibly shaking now. His eyes were fearful as his brain started remembering all the stories about what General O'Neill had done to anyone who insulted Colonel Carter. "No sir. Not in the least."

"Good, now-" He was cut off by the wailing sound of sirens and the red lights that flashed across the compound as the sound of an unscheduled wormhole came through. Galla ran towards the gateroom, only beaten by General O'Neill who was already at the computer waiting for the SG code he hoped for so badly.

They waited. Thirty seconds seemed like hours as the screen where the code was supposed to be receiving stayed blank. "Close the iris." His words seemed foreign in his brain as General O'Neill ordered the closing of the iris: a death sentence to anyone who tried to get in now. Silence reigned as three distinct bangs were heard against the iris.

_Not them. Anyone _but _them. _ Different situations raced through O'Neill's brain: goul'd come to invade, maybe some of those bugs had figured out how to dial a gate, but still the possibility rose to the surface and stayed in everyone's mind that it could've been SG-1 somehow stripped of their transmitters but trying to get through the gate anyway.

Everyone in the gate room looked towards the General as the minutes passed. His face hardened, his eyes which were sometimes so jovial held no life at all. All the lines of worry that were normally only seen when faced with a mountain of paperwork had returned. His lips were pressed together so hard that they turned white and you could see his jaw clench down.

Everyone watched the swallow that was so visible it was like he had swallowed a golf ball. His fists clenched in rage and his muscles tightened. One could almost see the thoughts going through his head as General O'Neill had the life sucked out of him. This was his_ team_; his _family_. The man, Jaffa and woman he had worked so closely with for seven years could be dead, bashed against the iris because _he_ ordered it closed. _He _could've killed them.

Slowly, he turned. Walked away from the eyes in dark faces. Walked back to the office. Walked back towards the mountain of paperwork. Walked away from the thoughts that were plaguing his mind. As soon as General O'Neill left the vicinity, the talking started: little whispers that grew bolder as the gate stayed silent, coming farther and farther away from the time of scheduled return of SG-1.

The paperwork didn't help as O'Neill expected. It only served to aggravate the anger and fear that was playing at him. Budgets seemed so trivial. Missions with problems seemed to be a godsend next to what could've happened just a few minutes ago. Grant proposals were signed in approval without a moments thought as O'Neill thought of how Sam Carter had loved her science and doohickeys. Complaints weren't even thought about; dismissed as such small matters in the grand scheme of things.

As he tried to continue on with his paperwork, Jack O'Neill came to one conclusion that terrified him more than anything: he was scared. He was scared that he'd never get to see Daniel trip over his own feet or get so excited over just a bunch of rocks; scared that he'd never get to listen to another one of Teal'c's jokes that always came at the moment he needed them most or watch the big man raise just that one eyebrow.

But most of all he was scared that he'd never get to see Carter again. Sam. The brilliant scientist and tough soldier he had learned to love over the past eight years. He was scared that he had never got to tell her how he felt about her. He was scared that he'd never get to be yelled at about touching one of her doohickeys. He was scared that he'd never get another refusal to go fishing. He was scared that he'd killed her: the one person that had not turned away from the sarcastic soldier he was but embraced it and took him on full force.

Troubled beyond belief, Jack O'Neill dropped his head into his hands, knowing that even if she was somehow alive and what had hit the iris wasn't SG-1 he still couldn't tell her how he felt. His feelings that surfaced now would be locked away like the rest of them. In that damn room. That testing room of hell that forced confessions that weren't ready to come out yet. That machine that stopped his dream from ever coming true by making things known that weren't meant to be just yet.

It was four years ago, and the feelings that he had felt since then had all stayed in the room along with the kiss he gave her during the time loop and her almost confessions at his house and on the ship when he was fading into ancient. The room was almost full, and Jack didn't know if he could hold back the storm if the walls burst with these new feelings added.

A knock on the door started Jack out of his musings. "Sir, we've just received SG-1's transponder signal. They're coming home."

Shock rolled onto General O'Neill's brain as the fear rolled off. _They're not dead. They're coming. They're here. _

"Sir? It wasn't them. They're alright and they're coming home." Slowly, Jack rose, and the lines that had creased his forehead smoothed away as the life came back into his features.

"Well, Lieutenant, why don't we go greet them then hm? Sound good to you?"

"Yes sir." The relief was visible on Galla's features as he lead the General to the gate room to await SG-1.

"Lieutenant…"

"Galla sir."

"Well Lieutenant Galla, do you think you could go down and fetch med for me? I seem to remember from my own adventures with SG-1 that whenever they're late there is usually a reason."

"Yes sir. Right away."

As O'Neill entered the gate room the sight of the blue vertical puddle greeted him. Seconds later, Daniel Jackson came through the gate supported by Samantha Carter and Teal'c who seemed to be carrying his equipment and much of Carter's and Jackson's as well. "Well people, welcome home. Teal'c drop the equipment and support Daniel for a minute with carter until med gets here."

One minute later the medical doctors came and carried Daniel away on a stretcher, one person looking at way seemed to be a very bad break in his leg. "So people, debrief in 30 minutes? I'd like to hear about this mission and how space monkey managed to hurt himself. Again."

"Sounds good to me, sir. We'll get ourselves changed and checked out by Doc and we'll meet you in the briefing room at 1530." Carter. The unreachable dream. Still here, but still a dream. A dream in reality.

Jaina Sanri

Please r&r! I'll consider writing a sequal if i get at least five reviews if any1 wants one.


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